about humalien

Who is Humalien?

Hi… my name is Martijn and I am the man behind Humalien. The
journey to start Humalien has been long and quite challenging. I grew up
in the countryside, until I moved to Groningen to study biology at
university. University life was fascinating and exciting, but I never
wanted anything to do with animal experiments. So, I chose a different
career in IT, quite the opposite of what I had done until then. After 13
years and making a decent career, I just couldn’t do it any longer.
This was totally not me!! I came to a point of a massive burnout, from
which I learned a lot. I made the decision to emigrate and pursue the
life I really wanted, elsewhere.
 
I’ve lived in five different countries before I moved to where I am
now, in the south of Spain. Travelling around is great, but emigrating
is a whole different ballgame. To experience other cultures, people and
languages, on top of the challenges of living abroad… it has
profoundly changed my life. It has opened my eyes and heart to the real
world. But most of all, it guided me to my inner world. My journeys have
continuously pushed me forward on my spiritual path, and have led to
the man I am today. They have inspired me to follow my passions and do
my work as human alien.

Getting out on the road

For most of my life, I experienced that I was different and did not
fit in. This became a problem and was a source of frustration. My
childhood was not happy, I didn’t have a lot of friends, school was
disappointing, nobody really understood me, my career was hollow, and
most of my relationships never worked out. In every part of life I gave
more than I received, and thus my energy eventually ran out. In my early
forties, I broke completely when my life turned upside down and inside
out. I hit rock bottom (or so I thought), as my awakening slowly
started.

A few years later I started my journey after I sold my house, gave
away my stuff, and left for New-Zealand with nothing but a backpack and a
suitcase. I was the richest man in the world, because I was free, had
no plans for the future, and could decide whatever I want. Never have I
felt more alive, as I did then. I made decisions with my heart, not my
mind, and life just unfolded before me through ease and joy. This, as I
would later find out, was a manifestation of 5D reality. However, the
world has changed irreversibly since then, in more than one way. Not
because of wars or some fake pandemic, but in more profound and
important ways.

Just before I left the Netherlands, I found out that I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). It explained so much, especially from my childhood. I tick basically all the boxes, being passionate but also easily overwhelmed or overstimulated, intensely processing every little thing, being an empath, and being deeply moved by subtleties that others are not aware of. My giftedness, which was established when I was 6, also plays a major role in how my mind works. I’ve studied (medical) biology, lived in a city, and worked in boring IT for 13 years; no wonder I broke down. I was battling my innate traits since I was a toddler and I’ve lived in a world that is the opposite of what I needed. For four decades I had been fighting myself.

I am a starseed

After my move to Portugal in 2021, I had another major breakthrough, when I found out that I’m a starseed. I am mostly Andromedan, to be exact, with some Pleiadian origins (more in About Starseeds). Several times I had literally said I felt like an alien on earth, that I didn’t belong here, and that I felt homesick… I just wanted to go back, although I had no idea to where. Suddenly, it all made sense: I’m not of this earth, but I have no memory of anywhere else. So, yet another new phase in my life then began. I needed to find out who I truly am, why I am here, what my gifts and powers are, and what I am supposed to do…
 
A lot has been written about starseeds, but much of it is not (entirely)
true. Starseeds and many spiritual terminology have fallen prey to the
mainstream hype. They are now in the claws of social media and the
commerciality of new age books and expensive retreats. You may have run
into this yourself, making it difficult to find your truth. Please stay
vigilant and make sure your spiritual path won’t connect to false light.
 
It was frustrating, being open to receive, therefore vulnerable, and thus easily fooled. I found out the hard way there are many people that have, let’s say, other interests in mind. They appear spiritual, but it turns out they are just like anyone else. Later, I would find out they may not be aware of this themselves. That doesn’t change the damage they do to others, though, like they’ve done to me. I know, I’m on slippery surface here. After all, who am I to say what is true and what is not…?
 
My partner at that time is a highly knowledgeable and powerful healer, channeller/medium, and guide – although any label I use here, would not do justice to her work. With what I learned from her, I could write many books. She told me more than just about starseeds. It became the start of a whole new way of looking at basically everything. I write about this in more detail in the stories and blog. I also learned from others, did my research, and sat in meditation. Sometimes, I could tap into some deep understanding, but I’ve also run into spiritual ego… and this was a hard lesson to get through. But at least it taught me to recognize truth from bullshit in the spiritual world. Meanwhile, my abilities to use my intuition and inner knowing had grown further… and I’ve learned to trust this.

Facing my shadow through narcissism

One of the hardest things I had to face, was myself… my shadow. To be honest, I think this work is never over. We learn and grow each day. As the light moves with us, it casts new shadows wherever we go. Life will trigger us, most people are not on the same level of consciousness (or frequency) as we are, and there’s always this complicated relationship with ego. However, it’s the only way to face parts in ourselves we try to hide and avoid. They are the subconscious motor behind our behaviour, and they are an important part of our system of beliefs and imprints. We need to love these parts of ourselves too, bringing them into the light.
 
My breakthrough came when I went on a journey of self discovery, and ended up on the other side of Europe. I started a toxic relationship with a psychologically abusive partner. Of course, I didn’t know this at that time, but I found out later she’s a covert narcissist (which explains why others did not see her that way). Ironically, she turned out to be a true spiritual teacher. We mirrored and projected on each other. All love and passion at first, we’d later suffer by each other, getting caught in simply absurd fights. I became aware she was deliberately creating conflicts as part of a toxic and vicious cycle. Regardless whether things happened consciously or subconsciously, she kept triggering me and it went from bad to worse to eventually extreme. I wanted desperately to help her in healing, but I couldn’t… she didn’t want my help. This place of extremely low vibration was her place, and I did not belong down there. Never in my life had I felt this bad before… and I almost lost myself. The patterns of abuse, gaslighting and manipulation were crystal clear, but no more.
 

Looking back, I now know I had actually been fighting myself. She was the personification of my shadow. I tried to heal her, because I needed to heal myself. The love I craved, I gave to her… in the hope she’d one day reciprocate. But the mental prison of a narcissist is inescapable and incomprehensible. She can’t escape herself, because she’s unknowingly stuck in a connection with the False Light (and an inverted reality). She could only give me empty promises and mere breadcrumbs in a vicious cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discarding. With every cycle the steps intensified and became more extreme, until I was desperate and exhausted enough to cut the connection she used to siphon my energy.

Forgiveness is key to liberation (and happiness)

Unlike the narcissist, I was able to step away. Ending our relationship, I didn’t really choose myself over her… but rather choosing my own light over darkness, choosing love over ego. I forgave her for hurting me on purpose, using me, cheating on me, manipulating me, and more. To get out of any relationship can be tough, but with a narcissist it is extreme. On a neurological level there’s an ‘intermittent reinforcement cycle’ and oxytocin-cortisol bond, which are both similar to serious drug addiction. Breaking up meant going cold turkey, doing most of it alone. It was very painful but essential. And eventually, I was finally able to breathe again.
 
Another major step came when I forgave myself. Only then, did I start to see things from a truly higher perspective. I could now see her, myself and us, as well as everything that has happened between us (and other people), through the eyes of love and compassion. It was liberating to be able to simply love her and everything that has happened. I no longer felt shame, nor frustration, fear, or anger… I felt lightness and gratitude.
 

The confusion still remains somewhat, because to this day, I don’t know everything that has happened, let alone why, or with whom. This makes it more difficult to see my own role and needs at that time, and to learn from that. But whatever it is that happened, I will shower it with love and compassion. Acceptance and gratitude have changed my view of the world, but also of myself, and even my whole life until now. When I truly understood, a weight I had unnecessarily carried with me for decades, came off my back… and nothing has been the same since.

Putting my experiences to use

After I went through this painful healing experience, I knew it was time to start over again. I decided to move to yet another country. So, I now find myself in beautiful Spain, on the Costa del Sol with a national park literally at my doorstep. I have left much behind in Portugal, including several dreams and the disappointments they turned into. Although I’m grateful for everything that has happened, I’m also happy to leave it all there. I take the lessons and memories with me, that’s it. 

In my work as Humalien (whether in writing or guiding people) I use all my personal experiences and I’m open about them. How else can you feel resonance and recognition with my stories. Also, if I ask my clients to be fully transparent, I should give the example. In a way, I believe all my life experiences have happened so I can now live as I truly am.

This is what I wanted when I decided to incarnate into this life. I chose my family, school and childhood. Is also chose my pain and frustrations and disappointments, so I could turn them into lessons. My innate traits and gifts were once a burden, until I turned them into tools and beacons for others. I rose to my real essence after having destroyed everything that I had built outside of myself. But in the new world and with the new energies, it would have been useless anyway. What is inside, is the only thing that matters. I’m still learning how to live in this new world, but I’ll make it work. I didn’t go through different phases of healing for nothing. It has prepared me for this new world, where I live as I truly am. Where I was first an outcast that didn’t fit in, I am now alive in a new world that works well for me. I hope I can help you feel at home, too.

It doesn’t matter if you are a HSP, a starseed, gifted, or neither. As long as you want to live from your heart, we can find each other. I would be very happy to work together with you. And should you ever decide to come to Spain for a private retreat, you’ll also be able to experience my passion for cooking. Or you may end up on my massage table. Although not yet as professional business, I offer massage sessions from a heart-to-heart connection as GOIN Massage. Check out Sessions for some of the options as Humalien, or just contact me directly.

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